Funerals make me mad.

It’s true, they almost always do. My aunt’s funeral made me mad, my former partner’s brother’s funeral made me mad, and I went to a funeral today that (at times) made me mad. Unfortunately, I think an awful lot of pastors and other officiants make the mistake of talking more about Jesus than about the person who died. I get it, the idea is to emphasize eternal life over this life, but that’s what makes me mad.

For one thing, the pastor mentioned Paul’s question, “Death, where is your sting?” He then said that the sting of death is knowing you’re about to be judged for your life. But I don’t agree. To me, the sting of death is not always the fear that you’re going to meet your Creator and have to account for your sins. Sure, that’s a concern for many people, but the sting is in how sweet this life can be and how the dying person is going to have to lay it down. It’s in how the people who are left behind must make sense of their lives now that it doesn’t include their friend or relative or loved one.

So yep, I’m being all pouty right now. More on why very soon.

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2 Responses to “Funerals make me mad.”


  1. 1 tobeme September 25, 2007 at 4:36 pm

    I often find the pators words at a funeral to be empty. The sting of death we may come to know is not a sting at all, rather a joyful moment of bliss as we move on to the next leg of our journey.

  2. 2 blueraindrop October 5, 2007 at 4:40 am

    i’ve had a few make me mad too. worst one i’ve seen was my uncles…. in which the pastor admitted he’d never met the person, then had the family write notes instead of talking with him beforehand then jsut stood there and read them directly off the sheet telethon-style “his sister so and so remembers this and that”.

    before using the next 45 minutes or so to preach a “repent or be damned” message to the crowd of biker friends in attendance.

    while i can appreciate his concern over the unusual chance to try and reeach this crowd, his tactics completely pushed them out of his reach, and maybe the reach of many others who might touch their heart. where connecting with them over their friend in their loss might have opened the doors he was apparently trying to knock down with brute force.


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