In case you’ve been wondering, I was attacked this week by a vicious, snarling pack of deadlines. It wasn’t pretty, but I’m still standing and they have all been dispatched. Take that, editorial expectations!
Now, blasphemy alert: Avert your eyes if you don’t enjoy a bit of religious prankery. Yesterday, a moment of entertainment arrived in the mail. I got a package in the mail, on which the return address was also my address. So it seemed I had sent it to myself, but I was pretty confident I hadn’t. The package was squishy and quite memorable, and like I have time to get to the post office? Not.
Opening it carefully in case of anthrax, I found two things. One was a note.
If you can’t read it, it says, “Holly: I’ve been reading your blog. Between you and me, I like the Catholics the best. Sincerely, J. H. Christ.” Below are the author and typist’s initials (“JH/mm” [Mary Magdalene]) and the subject line, which was “soul # 44318037401587038473209471209472109472308517385102973402174021740127419837.”
Also included? Why, huggy Jesus, of course.
Huggy Jesus is squishy and fun, and is intended to help children understand and appreciate the love of God long before they understand what’s happening in church. The doll has a different effect on cats; my Birkenstock saw Huggy Jesus as something to nibble on daintily, not hug.
It turned out that the prankster was a dear friend of mine. So even agnostics get mocked for their religious endeavors from time to time. Huggy Jesus is sitting on a medical chair that belongs to said friend, whose eccentricity is demonstrated by both the package and the chair. It probably says something about my friends, however, that I had to accuse all of them before I learned who the real culprit was.
More of substance later…